welcome to my internet home. this blog used to be cool, with insights about mental health, social policy, pop culture and the like. now, it's a chaotic collection of my mis-spelled, scribbled-down notes on motherhood (who has time to proof read?). it's over-ran with goldfish cracker crumbles, slobery wet kisses, and un-edited pictures. and i would have it no other way. feel free to laugh and cry along side me while I balance a practice (mental heath) and motherhood, and their interconectedness

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

Guess What?

Blogger is giving us the boot.  Rude huh?  I’ve exceeded the space for photos and I’m too cheap to buy more so we are moving!


I’m also going private (lame I know), so leave me your email address and I’ll be sure to add you to you can still read our blog.  I know I have several stalkers and I’ll add you too!  Assuming you’re not a serious creeper. 



Dear Lyla, you had your second opportunity to meet Santa at our ward Christmas Party.  Just as before, you FREAKED!!! and wanted nothing to do with Santa.  I thought that you might change your mind since there were so many other kids loving on Santa, but no such luck! Next year when I feel back because I have no pictures of you by Santa, this post will remind me not to feel bad.  You kept saying “no like Santa!”.  HAHA.  This is the closest you’d let me get you to Santa.  Maybe next year silly girl!

Friday, December 30, 2011


Lyla and Lottie, dad and I wanted to find a way to honor your blessed presence in our home at Christmas time, so we started looking for ways to do that.  I came across this Etsy site that had the most adorable little hand-painted ornaments, proclaiming the name and birth on a snowman.  I was so excited when they arrived, wrapped in pretty white boxes.  I let you pull them out of the box and look at them.  Lyla, you said “eww, pretty!”.  I look forward to letting you each hang your special ornament each year. 


Learning Day: Christmas Tree

Dear Lyla, Thanksgiving came and went, which meant it was Christmas in our house and time for some Christmas crafts!  Since we had hung our real tree the day before, I decided we should have some fun with another kind of tree.  I just took a piece of cardboard, (thank you Amazon), drew this tree with a marker (I’m not the best artist huh?) and set out all sorts of fun things for you to decorate your very own tree with.  You love dipping things in glue, so of course this was a hit.  I had also struck gold with a new find; glitter glue! How perfect is that?  We busted that out for the occasion too.  Your little tree ended up so beautiful.  I loved it so much I borrowed it to decorate the cabinet in our kitchen.  Thanks baby girl!


Oh Christmas Tree


Dear Lyla, we set up our tree Thanksgiving Weekend before dad left for work.  We worked really hard to find the perfect tree like we do every year….at the home depot tree lot.  LOL.  We figure going to the lot is just as exciting to you as getting all cold and wet up the mountain.  You proved us right and had a great time.  We really did let you choose  the tree and as you can see, you chose great!  Everyone who came to our house asked if it was real because it looked so perfect.  We LOVE the smell of real pine all December long.  You also had a ball decorating the tree.  I would give you the balls that were easy to hang and you would concentrate so hard to thread that little loop over the branch of needles.  You did it skillfully and meticulously.  I was so proud.  Once we plugged in the lights you were in awe and starred up at the angel in wonder.  It was a beautiful sight.  It marked the beginning of the Christmas festivities, which was very exciting for me.  Charlotte feel asleep on the way home from getting the tree but we let her try and hang a few balls later just for funYou were great to help me water the tree when it needed it.  .  It seems like a ball or two mysteriously falls off the tree each day, so it’s sort of evolved into a tree that’s decorated from about 3 inches and up Smile



7 months & 26 Month




Crazy Hair186


(Hiding in the Curtains)165


Dear Char, you are 7 month old baby girl!  Definitely transitioned from a baby to a toddler.  How does it sneak up that way?  It’ like one moment you hardly move and can be held for hours, and then the next you’re completely aware of the world around you, and want nothing more than to explore it.  You arch your back if you’re held for longer than a few minutes and just want to be down and moving all the time.  It is amazing to watch you grow and evolve.  It’s a miraculous experience to watch life unfold right along side you.  Aside from the teething days, you’re still the sweetest little thing.  You can play with toys and entertain yourself for a long time and will hardly make a peep (unless your sister bugs you or something).  Although it’s always sad for me to say goodbye to the sweet baby-stage, I’ve especially loved watching you develop and interact more.  There’s times where I’ll do an activity or pull out a toy I think Lyla will love, and find myself pleasantly surprised when you’re engaged with it as well.  I love that you get to do big girl things with us more and more.  I get glimpses of our future together and it fills me with the greatest joy.  I’m in gratitude for little moments of beauty…when you smile big out of nowhere, when you get so excited about something you do the piggy-snort, the look of your juicy butt in leggins, or when you do that big belly-laugh after a good tummy tickling.  Gosh I love you baby girl.  Now, go and stay this way forever Smile

`We lowered your crib this month after a few scary moments when I’d walk in to get you and you’d literally be hanging over the edge.  You sleep in your carseat inside your crib (for safety reasons).  It’s always one of those bittersweet milestones.  I’m grateful that you’re growing so much that you need this, but sad to see the time slip away. 

`You can crawl now!!!  You mastered the hand and leg synchronization on 11.17.12 and it was to get popcorn!  haha  that’s you baby.  You love food.  Lyla was on the other side of the room eating popcorn and it was just enough to motivate you to get going!  The best part was that we were skyping dad on the phone at the time so he got to see the whole thing!

`You can also pull yourself to the standing position now and pull up on everything (including me if I’m sitting there!).  You picked this skill up remarkably fast!  I know it won’t be long now….

`You also started clapping!  It’s the cutest thing ever.  We just say yay!! and you’ll smile and clap.  So proud of yourself

`We had a little incident with chicken.  Lyla had a plate of chicken pieces and gave you a good handful of it when I went to grab a drink.  I figured it was okay, because you didn’t choke.  Boy was I wrong.  It must’ve upset your little tummy so bad because you were up all night puking.  It was so sad.  I was worried and felt so bad, but you were okay the next morning. 

`You love to be sang to.  You almost always calm when I sing to you.  It’s so cute

`You’ve figured out how to take off your hats and bows now and do it instantly with such attitude!  It’s hilarious

`I already feel like changing you is a wrestling match!  You’re too young for this!! You move and wiggle and flip and turn.  It’s crazy.  You’re so strong.

`Overnight you transitioned into eating real food this month. You’re sort of over baby food and just like little pieces of table scraps.  Correction, you LOVE real food.  You’re all about bread, bananas, crackers, and anything else I dare give you.  I joke that you have a food addiction because you are obsessed over food!  Lol.  You pant and lunge and get all excited anytime you smell something cooking.  It cracks me up. 

`You’re wearing size 3 diapers now.  Just one size below Lyla. 

`The other day you and Lyla started banging pots and pans and you got the BIGGEST kick out of it.  I love that little things get you giggling so

`You are still such a mommies girl.  You start whining when you hear me walk into the house, before you’ve even seen me!  You can be completely fine, and then really put on a show when you hear me.  I love it!

`You get distracted easily now during breastfeeding.  It’s kind of the bane of my existence!!  You rip off and whip your head around like it isn’t attached.  Sometimes you will seriously breastfeed sitting straight up because you move and twist and that’s where you end up.  I think you’re sort of inconvenienced by breastfeeding.  It takes time away from your play!  But you still love it for going to sleep and soothing.

`You’re wearing 6 to 9 month clothes right now.  You’ve started wearing some of Lyla’s clothes because the seasons are kind of matching up finally.  It’s SOOOO fun for me to see you in Lyla’s clothes. 

`You’re so grabby still it’s killer!  You can get to anything now that you crawl and are quite determined when you want something

`You love your big sis and it does my heart good.  You smile and pant when you see Lyla and just want to play with her

`You’ve started to complain to me about Lyla.  It’s hilarious.  If she takes a toy from you or does something mean, you look to me with your whine face and make the best little complaint.  It’s funny but worries me about future fighting!

`You’ve become my new vacuum cleaner.  It’s terrible!  Because you’re so close to the ground, you find any and everything to try and eat.  I try my dangdest to keep the carpet clean, but it’s HARD with Lyla dropping things everywhere. 

`You’ve already started to mimic Lyla.  It’s amazing to me.  You will raise your arms, clap, squint, and many other things we do

`You want to walk so bad and keep up with Lyla.  Lots of times I’ll try to set you down and you’ll flex your legs so I can’t!  It’s hilarious. 

`You love peekabo and giggle like crazy.  It’s so cute

`Your eyes have finally made up their mind and are officially brown like mine!  You’re my brown eyed girl!


Dear Lyla, you are rapidly approaching the other side of 2!  How!!!????  Good grief I love you my vivacious, playful, little wild two year old. This stage is very much about independence.  It doesn’t matter what, you want to do it, and demand regularly “I do it!” I think I jinxed myself last month when I said there wasn’t anything to the terrible twos.  Your defiance is astounding at times!! You just seem too young to have such a mind of your own, and to have the desire to defy already! Sometimes I think you do things just because I ask you not to.  Like if I say, “please don’t run in the street” you fight harder to run in the street.   I’ve decided that the twos involve the sweetest and meanest moments everyday.  You seriously do the sweetest things ever, and then do the meanest things ever!  It’s remarkable how quickly you can make the shift between the two.   I guess it happens this way to balance out the two.  Like when you chuck everything off the table, breaking glass, spreading food about, and then look up with the sweetest little face and say “sorry mommy”.  Oh you melt my heart so often it’s ridiculous.  You still evolve and develop so quickly and seamlessly.  It seems like you went from saying a few words here and there, to conversing in full sentences with me.  I love it, and feel like I have a little buddy to hang with all day long. I think the very best sentence ever uttered in the human language has to be “I lub ew mommy”.  I lub ew too sweet baby.  It’s a pleasure to be your mommy. 

`You get so excited by things and want to share it with me.  All throughout the day you’ll say “look!” or “look at me!” with such vigor it’s infectious and adorable

`These days you think everything can be fixed with batteries.  The only day I couldn’t open something for you, so I said it was broken and you said “need batteries mommy?”.  Adorable

`One day you randomly started signing to Lottie.  We haven’t signed in probably a year, so I have no idea what reminded you to teach Lottie but I think it’s the sweetest big sister act.  When she’s eating you sign “eat” and then she lunges for more food you sing and say “more” Lottie Lou?  The other day Lottie signed more.  I was so proud.  You taught her that my sweet girl

`You still LOVE cooking in your kitchy and try to get me into your room to cook for hours a day.  Your new think is to ask me “make an egg?” which is basically saying, “come into my room so I can make you an egg”.

`You are as curious as ever.  All day long you ask “what's that”?  I love it

`You are such a polite child, it does my heart good.  You almost always say “thank you mommy” and “peesee” when you want something

`You’ve kind a been a little gassy thing lately! I hope it’s just a phase and you’re not the farter.  LOL

`You are kind of an ADHD eater.  You take a bite, run around in circles, play a little, and then take another bite, it takes forever for you to eat

`You do peekabo to Char and it’s the cutest thing ever!!

I love that when you can’t find something you put your hands in the air and say “where is it?!” and then when you find it say “there it is” as if it’s all one word

`You fight me a lot on getting in the car seat.  It’s like wrestling a calf.  You’ll often wig once you're in there too and say, “I’m stuck!”  lol

`You’re much more attentive to books these days and let me read most of a story before you lose interest.  When you do, you slam it closed and say “the end!”

`I haven’t decided if all 2-year olds get hurt a lot or if you’re just the most clumsy child on the planet.  I swear you’re tripping, hitting your head, or walking in to something every 5 minutes

`You think all fruit are grapes.  LOL

`You do the cutest big sis duties, like tell me when Char’s awake, or snatch something out of her mouth when she’s not supposed to have it.  You’ll also say “no no Lottie Lou”  Like you’re in charge.  You also ask me, “Lottie Lou poopie?”

`You’re almost to wearing 24 month clothes but mostly still wear 12 to 18 months.  Only one size smaller than Char

`You are still my junk food junkie.  You love pizza, fries, chicken nuggets, coke, and chocolate

`You usually sleep later than Lottie, so we are usually in the living room when you wake.  I just love when you fling open the door and stumble out in a drunken stupor.  It’s the cutest thing ever

`You pretty much never sleep in your bed anymore, just with mom.  At bedtime you always say, “seep wif mama”.  How could I resist?!

`You’re such a girly girl still and have really amped up the pretend play.  You love dolls and do all the motherly things to them.  You also wear your purse and go

`When I say you do everything I do, I mean it  You even wear tampons!  (not really, but pretend to)

`You know where the park is and ask to go there!  Too bad it’s been so cold lately.

`You’ve become more mommy mousey lately.  Not sure what that’s about but you cry when I leave and want to be held everywhere we go

`The last tenant might have something to do with this one, you’re teething again.  I HOPE it’s the last of your toddler molars.  You’ve got the nasty bum rash again and the chin rash. 

`You call Santa “ho ho”  It’s so cute

`When I’m putting on your pjs at night you say “yip it!” for zip it!

`You LOVE snow and want to play in it all the time

`You say “shake your booty when you dance.  Hilarious!

`You have a great memory.  I' promised you the park one day and then it snowed, so after dance I just went home.  When we got there you were ticked!

`Another example of your great memory: when the car we ordered you on Amazon arrived, it had a picture of the car on the box.  Oh, how excited you were and begged to open it.  I distracted you long enough to head to Grandmas but when we got back it was the first thing you asked for…and you didn’t forget for several days. 

`You can verbalize and name emotions.  You say things like “she’s sad”.  I think it’s a wonderful sign of emotional intelligence!

`You’ve started some serious pouting.  It’s killer.  You’ll throw yourself on the ground and hide your face, or pout your lower lip and do a fake cry.  It’s hilarious.  Where do you learn this stuff child?