Friday, December 28, 2007
Some of my friend's have posted an 100-things-about me list and I like the idea bc it's a good journal reference. I realize this probably isn't terribly interesting to you all but its good for me to remind myself where i'm at at this moment.
1) I am dreading going back to school, but i'm also dreading graduating bc that means I'm officially a professional
2) Less than three years ago I was a man-hating independent woman who planned to move to a large city, work as a psychologist, and never marry.
3) I believe with every ounce of me that I made the better choice
4) my thoughts went from careers, money and success to recipes, house work and children (not exclusively of course!).
5) I believe that every person should be required to take a class on white privilege
6) I am a socialist, liberal in a Republicans clothing
7) I am grateful to my mother for forcing me to take Violin lessons. I now love playing and wished I played more often.
8) One of my dreams is to move to a remote cabin in the woods for a year and write a novel.
9) I would like to have a book published
10) I am in the process of getting published in two different scholarly articles
11) I am fully a research nerd. I not only work as one, but I get pleasure out of it
12) I intellectualize everything. I can't buy a car, take a vacation, or really do anything without researching the hell of it.
13) Sometimes I wish I could be less calculating when I want to do stuff
14) I wish i was more business minded; I 've been reading a bunch lately about IRA's, HSA, and money markets but I still feel overwhelmed and hope I've made good financial choices thus far.
15) I'm a terribly anxious person...the things I worry about are often insane. Sometimes I think that if Todd and I switched brains for a day I would be in heaven and he would have to be institutionalized...I can be so exhausting
16) I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am a bit of a perfectionist
17) My friends liken me to Summer from School of Rock
18) My favorite movie is As Good As it Gets; nothing beats that dialogue
19) I also LOVE Goodwill Hunting
20) I have an addictive relationship with music, I feel it tangibly; like most people feel things physically
21) I want to be a foster parent some day.
22) My dream is to settle in this cute little town outside Logan. It's called Wellsville.
23) I plan to open a private practice someday specializing in body politics, anxiety disorders, and possibly martial counseling.
24) My goal is to be full time mom and do some therapy on the side.
25)Tiny spicy chicken from Mandarin Garden in Logan is my favorite thing to eat on this planet
26)I love the movie, Stranger than Fiction
27) I really want a Mini-horse; I plan to have one for each of my children (my love for them is weird I know)
28)I love mini coopers; I wish they were more practical
29)I bite my nails
30)I love spring and fall; mostly the change in seasons
31)I'm only happy when it rains... jk, but I love the rain
32)I tend to get lost in things I'm doing and forget about the passage of time; I could easily read for an entire 24 hours if something literally didn't force me out of it.
34)I almost never dream
35)Before I met Todd I had never taken a nap; now I absolutely love napping
36)I could live in a cabin if given the chance; Todd and I talk of living in a dumpy home and then having a lovely cabin somewhere.
37)I fantasize about building a home on Todd's family's' property in Swan Lake; a place where we could rock ourselves into old age atop a big wrap-around porch
38)The thought of being a mother absolutely terrifies me
39)I am incapable of watching a TV series (like Grey's, Survivor); I watch a few episodes and then lose interest. Despite this I am addicted to Man versus Wild and the Soup.
40)I think tent camping is one of the most romantic things on this planet
41)I have had the same five friends since before Kindergarten.
42)I love my lap top
43)I am grateful to have religion and spirituality in my life; I am also grateful to know the difference.
44)I had to learn the hard way that I am nothing with out my God
45)I love baking; trying new recipes are one of my favorite things to do...except when they SUCK!
46)I think bubble baths are essential to life
47)I have driven from Cedar City to Logan Utah a billion times and never realized I passed the Great Salt Lake.... I'm not kidding WOW!
48)I fully lack common sense
49)I do not have my ears pierced
50)I deeply miss my Grandma Kunz. I believe we were/are kindred spirits
51)I think humor is essential to life.
52)Sometimes I use sarcasm as a weapon.
53)I LOVE to swim...I think perhaps i was a fish in a previous life
54)I think people who discount evolution need to evolve more
55)I put Vaseline and socks on every night because I can't stand dry heels....ugh
56)I spent two weeks in Hawaii two years ago and I still miss it almost every day.
57)I need to go to Italy...SOON!
58)Traveling is a higher priority for me than many comforts in this life.
59)I envy the passion Todd has for some things in this life
60)I like hair dye...I've been every color from black to blond
61)I love Todd so much it's disgusting at times
62) I wish i was bilingual
63) Impressionistic art speaks to me
64)I had a pretty miserable high-school experience...I was cast into social roles that did not agree with me I guess.
65) I am a cusser
66) I'm a closet hopeless romantic
67) My closet is color coded
68) I want many things for my future children but the biggest would be that they feel unconditional love
69) This exercise makes me feel narcissistic
70) I'm a hazard behind the wheel. I've been in many accidents!!!
71)I learned more about addiction and about life in general in the year I worked at the Methadone clinic than in most of my life.
72)People often believe that elicit drug use is a way for people to slowly take their life; I see it as an absolute investment in survival
73)I am afraid of roller coasters
74) Whenever I take those "find your career questionnaires" they come out saying I should be a nuclear scientist...what the H?
75) Gregorian chants are fantastic
76) I miss getting lost in fiction books like I used to. I guess they lost their appeal when my reality became better than theirs'. Regardless, my love for reading transcends my love for most things
77) I believe that people who don't believe in government or taxes should fall into a large sink hole, be tortured by a breach in public security and should have to pay for all their loved one's mistakes regardless of them being subject to mental illness, disability, or work-related injury.
78) I believe that all married college students should be MANDATED to have health insurance...if ur smart enough to be in college, be married and have sex, you're smart enough to pay for your own DAMN kids' births.
79)I love playing card and board games
80)I think everyone should be required to take a class on cultural diversity...the oppression of women, ethnicity's, and LGBTQ issues
81) Living in the east has always appealed to me.
82) I was a bridezilla, but it was so worth it. My wedding was absolutely me.
83)If I were to be reincarnated i would come back as bird...so I could be anywhere and everywhere.
84) Slipper socks are essential to life
85)I still don't know my "Left" and "Right" that good...Todd jokes that he's gonna write L and and R on things.
86) I'm one of those people who would rather blow money in a bookstore than in a clothing store
87) I've always been in a hurry to get things done...don't know why. Graduated H.S. in 2003, Undergrad in 2005 and Graduate school in 2008 (hopefully)...whats wrong with me?
88)Last legislative session myself and a professor I work with got to present some research we did to the legislature. Senator Hickman was an ASS, but otherwise the experience was awesome!
89) I used to think I should have gone to law school. Then did some job shadowing...not so much!
90) I'm the black sheep of my family...they're all itty bitty, blue eyes and straight blond hair. I'm a chub, have brown eyes and have wildly curly hair. What the F!
91) I would totally love being a photographer
92) I hate people who get fake diamonds in their wedding rings. The whole purpose of a ring is for a person to show their devotion to another by saving up to buy something of VALUE. People who do that are just about image. Get over the need for a big diamond and appreciate what your spouse has to offer you. (WOW I just sounded really bitchy...sorry)
93) One thing I really value about the way Todd grew up was that he learned to appreciate the basics in life. Things had meaning. There was a purpose in what you do. No need for image and excess.
94)Utah County culture makes me want to VOMIT!
95)I love my niece Elsie. She's feisty and brilliant. I hope my kids are as cute as her!
96)I believe that people are basically good. Its contingencies that make the Hitlers in the world. We could all be a Hitler. People aren't inherently weak but things cause them to be weak.
97)I hope my kids grow up with a sense that there is good in this world.
98) I'm sorry for my ignorance
99) I'm happy to be almost done
100) That's it.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Todd and I left Saturday morning to spend Christmas with the Gambles in Swan Lake. We had a lovely, lovely time celebrating family, sacred birth, and the chance to remind ourselves what life is all about; gratitude.
Saturday: 3 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
We arrived mid afternoon to unpack and prepare "game-night" food (mostly me) for the BYU Bowl game taking place later that evening. Todd's brother came down from a neighboring town in Idaho and we went to his other Brother's to watch the big game on their big screen. WHAT A GAME! For those of you who are familiar with the concept proposed in "The Secret", our experience watching the game definitely disproves the theory. The idea is roughly that one's mental "hope" or "will" in the metaphysical can bring things to pass in the physical. I lost faith in the theory because Todd and his brother we being SOOO negative! They had made up their mind the game was over. Despite their defeat, the cougs overcame in an unreal fashion. The men, having to be sorry for giving up hope, made the victory that much Sweeter.
Sunday: 2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
I always love going to church in the little meeting house in Swan Lake. Their chapel is half the size of normal meeting houses. Where they lacked in size, they made up for in spirit. Nearly everyone participated in the Christmas Program. Todd's nephew sang a sultry tenor duet that was lovely. Another member of the ward played this bluesy Christmas medley that was so beautiful. It was somber in a way that was not depressing but calming. Music that touches me like this song is usually the most effective medium for me to get into that reflective, contemplative state that always brings some type of personal insight. Being that the little church was surrounded by miles of snowy fields, this song and the atmosphere made me think of what it must have been like for Joseph and Mary when they sought refuge in a world that was not kind. It also made me think of the wise men seeking something they did not know; searching for fulfillment that their conscious had yet to find. I realize that neither of those experiences involved snow, but that bluesy tune and the stripped, desolate, yet peaceful nature of my surroundings provided some insight into the lives of those who seek; into the lives of those who wander.
Monday: CHRISTMAS EVE
This day was undoubtedly my favorite. We began the morning (which was actually more like afternoon) sipping hot coco with toast around the kitchen table. This table overlooks a large picture window and miles and miles of snow-topped farmland. This endless sea of colorblind white again brought me back to that somber yet tranquil state. I thought of mine and Todd's life thus far. I thought about the family that made Todd what he is today. I thought of of those who weren't with us this day. While sipping and preparing the Christmas Eve feast Todd's mom shared a tearful sentiment about how Todd's father used to give the cows extra hay on Christmas day. I wish I could describe how this adorable act of kindness embodies all of the things I love about Todd...
Following our tranquil breakfast, I sat down with Todd's mom to get several recipes for several meals Todd has adoringly requested I make. I enjoyed our chat as I jotted down the recipes and inserted procedural questions.
Daylight conceded into evening as the rest of Todd's large family trickled in. Most of the family was able to make it. We had a feast of all feasts over laughter and child-like anticipation. Following dinner the family exchanged gifts; this was done because all of Todd's siblings have families and spend their Christmas' at their respective homes. Todd and I were utterly spoiled. Todd's mom is so thoughtful; over two months ago I mentioned a book I was pining after; she bought it for me and many other things I mentioned I wanted. Todd's siblings also draw names and exchange gifts. Todd's brother Brad and his wife Lorie had us. Lorie got us (mostly me) the cutest home decorations. They intentionally matched my current decorative pallet (how thoughtful) with the stuff they got us. She also made us a book of family home evening ideas. I totally needed that too :). I also got to open the gifts Todd had sent to his mother's for me; as did Todd.
The evening ended with a riotous game called the "sign game". Its hard to explain but it is so fun to play! My gut was literally aching after because I was laughing SO hard. The family then dispersed to await the arrival of the fat, jolly representation of all childhood hopes and dreams.
Tuesday: CHRISTMAS DAY!
The day of uninhibited anticipation finally arrived! Santa brought us Clementines, Bath and Body Works stuff and a shirt for Todd. Todd and I had too much fun visiting his siblings at their homes to see what Santa had brought his nieces and nephews. I think I've officially become old because I now get more joy out of giving gifts and seeing other's get gifts than I do in receiving gifts. That morning we braved the cold and went to Todd's brothers for a delicious breakfast.
The highlight of the day was definitely getting to talk to by brother in Ukraine. We kept it short being that I will see him only 10 days, but it was still good to check in and hear bits and pieces about his life in the land far far away. During our conversation someone called on their cell phone so I got to hear Zach speak Russian in a full conversation. This fully blew my mind; I think Russian is such a beautiful but complex language and it was utterly shocking to hear my little brother speak it with such ease.
We spent the rest of the day relaxing and playing more of the "sign game". That evening Todd and I were forced to return to Salt Lake for work the following day. We were sad to go but left with a renewed sense of perspective of purpose.
The hustle and bustle just before the FEAST
Todd and a Christmas Lilli
Bet and a Christmas Lilli
A Christmas Todd; ready to open GIFTS!
Decoration Gift #1
Some of our gifts from Todd's mom (I also got this fabulous 3-in-one pot that I fully needed; it steams veggies, cooks pasta, and serves as a normal pot)
PRESIDENTS AND PROPHETS by Michael K Winder: The book I've been pining after. It covers each U.S president and their relationships with the LDS church. I've only read a bit thus far but it's been incredibly interesting. The peak of my interest is when members of the Presidency of the Church disagree amongst each other regarding politics. This disagreement is fully illuminated in the types of relationships each U.S president has with the LDS church. I have to admit sometimes it makes me ornery because I see the never-wavering"right wing" politics of the church being wined and dined by the Presidents who share such beliefs. Despite this, I am please to see the dissension among LDS leaders and members. One day WE will invite a Democratic president to Temple square as opposed to ALLOWING a democratic president to visit. 
A small gift I brought for Todd to open
A book Todd's been pining after
One small gift from Todd: Christmas Vacation BABY! I mentioned last Christmas that I wanted in. Todd had to order it from Amazon bc it was no where to be found.
The most thoughtful gift of all from Todd; a UTAH hoodie. Non-BYU fans probably won't understand the sacrifice it took for Todd to spend money on something endorsing UTAH. He said he felt dirty even going to the website. This is not a joke either. Todd's brother's cringed when I pulled the hoodie out. What a sweet act to forgo his hatred so that I might have an emblem from my soon-to-be Alma Mater
The clean up :0
Playing the "Sign Game"
Not sure what they're all starring at!
More fun
Lovin Lilli
Sister's horsin around
Brrrr
The Winter Wonderland....Christmas morning
More sign fun Christmas morning (I hadn't quite done my hair for the day...YIKES!)
Like I said before, A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! 
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The gift of anticipation was a 
It's tinier than even this picture indicates
It has a 2 gig IPOD feature (if you can't tell I was still in the process of wrapping presents)
I also got Todd a nice zip-up jacket
I forgot to take a picture of all of my gifts! Perhaps done subconsciously bc I felt guilty for how spoiled I was. Todd got me PINK perfume from VS, a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret (not for what you think...it was bc just a few weeks earlier the wire came out of my favorite bra..he remembered, isn't that cute?), an entire outfit and shoes. He also had some presents sent to his mom's house for me...more on that later!
Under the MISTLE TOE!!!
MUAH!
A Christmas Kiss
Dec 20th, 2007. I had the lovely pleasure of babysitting Elsie while her parent's went skiing in Snowbird.
Then, I attempted to get us ready for the day. As you can see, I got her pants on when she decided she didn't want to wear a shirt. Instead, she wanted to put on my make-up. 
I thought I'd hurry and do my make-up while she played photographer. I had no idea she would take such good shots!
Again, note the lil finger.
This one is my favorite! Notice I finally got her to put her shirt on. She's so smart though.. she said, "take me to the mirror, I need to take a picture of myself" so she did! This is also how I convinced her to let me do her hair. 
Yay! After nearly an hour I finally got Elsie ready 
Aren't these the most adorable shoes ever?
Lookin mischievous!
Elsie's skinny jeans! She is so trendy!!!
After I got Elsie ready we went to my work for two meetings. She was so good. She just watched her DVD on her portable player. Other highlights were lunch at Wendy's (Elsie refused to eat her food bc she thought it was burnt haha) and watching Backyardigans on Nick Toons. 
