Friday, December 12, 2008
If I haven't already made it abundantly clear that I haven't been lovin life lately-- now you'll all know. We've opted not to share the woes that seem to be compounded by our recent (or not so recent) incidents of misfortune. Still, publicize or not publicize, these woes (or as some call trials) seem to have gotten the best of me (and at times Todd). They have robbed us of any semblance of Christmas cheer. They have taken our focus. They have snatched our ability to rebound. This is the part where a more faithful woman would insert the epiphany that accompanied such self pittying....the epiphany about how selfish she has been..about how grateful she is for all the wonderful, god-given things she has.
Like I said.... a more faithful woman.
There would be no Christmas for us. At least none of the part that was within our control.
When we were away for Thanksgiving my sister called and asked if we wanted them to get us a Christmas tree while they were out cutting theirs'. With disdain, i said no thank-you. Afterall, I had just returned all the beautiful, new Christmas ornaments I had just bought (I had planned a BYU-themed Christmas tree. We bought matching BYU shirts for the dogs and planned to take our Christmas card picture in front of it). I told my sister i had no desire to celebrate Christmas this year. Celebrate what? My misery? The bad economy? The hype and sensationalism that always accompanies Christmas? No thank-you. I had also scared Todd into agreeing not to exchange Christmas gifts with each other and had gone down the list of gifts I usually buy looking to shave off the ones that came with less obligation.
Christ's birth be damned.
And no...still not to that epiphany. Still bitter. Still stubborn. Still cold.
When Todd and I got home from the evening listening to Christmas music in the canyons, we were greeted with a rush of the crisp smell of pine. When my had groped for the stair rail, it was met with the prickly handshake of garland. When Todd got to the bottom of the stairs and reached for the light, he paused. There was no need for the light. The brilliant glow of the most beautifulest little Christmas Tree shined across the entire room...and instantly melted my mean cold heart. It's true...something straight from the Grinch. My family, defying my mean, cold heart, snuck into our apartment while we were away [being filled with Christmas cheer], pulled out all seven hundred of my Christmas boxes, and decorated our entire house. My sister took the smaller tree that they had planned for their front room, and packed it full of our ornaments from last year. They even hung our stockings (did you see Ty's!? It's his first Christmas!). They even dusted!. I must have walked around the entire house 20 times saying "I can't believe they did this". In an evening, a family wanting to show their love and support, changed my entire person. I was and still am in awe at what a sweet and selfless act this was. I will never forget. What a reminder of what Christmas is all about. What a reminder of what an ass I have been. What a beautiful little Christmas tree.
May we all pass on this beautiful act of giving. of kindness. of true love... this Christmas Season.
...and i promise to have a tich more humility
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