Letters to Lyla and Lottie

• Mad crazy anxiety...like truly, why did I think I could care for another human life? What made me think I wanted to me a part time worker and full time mom? What if I miss her blink or something? What if she hates me? What if I don't like being a mom? What if she likes Todd more? Why haven't I played her Mozart on my belly yet? Where did all the time go? Oh my gosh the list goes on and on.
• Serious butt pain. I feel like everything is going to come out the rear when I stand up. My butt hurts ALL the time.
• Bathroom trips. Less than four in one night is considered a feat.
• Pukes...yep. I've been feeling more sick lately and the chunks still make their appearance about once a week. It's cool though.
• My belly being under seige. Sometimes in the night or when I'm really concentrating I have to remind myself that someone isn't letting off small bombs in my belly. It's just her. Like really. No cute little kicks. It's like putting a trash bag over a fat kid and watching him try to fight his way out. I still really like it though.
• Tears. Man I cry alot. The other day I cried because Elsie's frog I've been taking care of died. I cried because the other one looked sad. Really it did though. They were a couple. When I told Jenny she said, "good, Elsie wanted them to die". OMG.
• The girls. Out of control. READY for action. If that doesn't paint the picture-imagine my garment top STUCK to me in the morning when I take it off. Yea, they're ready for action. (k I must be too tired to be writing this post bc the TMI is out of control...sorry guys).
• Thankles. That's when there is no differentiation between your thighs and your ankles. Thankles.

Last week we had our 30 week ultrasound and everything looked good! She STILL had her face shoved clear down into my uterus which really ticked me off because it makes it impossible to get a good face shot. I guess because all of the amniotic fluid is by her feet-and fluid is necessary to take the pic. I KNOW she flips and lays sideways sometimes so I really don't appreciate the hiding at the ultrasound...so now I call her my little gremy. For little gremlin. She was sitting indian style holding on to her big toe which I thought was pretty stinkin cute. It was estimated that she weighed 2 lbs 11 oz. Awe. in the 45 percentile (I'm assured this is good enough). I've gained 12 lbs and I passed by gestational diabetes test so I'm doing pretty good!

One last update...the night after our ultrasound I was getting my hair cut when my dr. called the house to talk to me. Todd said I wasn't home so he told Todd to have me call him on his cell phone when I got home. I guess Todd tried to call but I missed it. So when I got home he was practically crawling out of his skin with nerves. What the CRAP?! I was dying. Drs never call you at home to tell you good news. never. Even Jenny was like-it's probably not good. So when I called him back he didn't answer. Todd and I sat and starred at the wall for 30 mins. Todd must have asked me 20 times if the phone was working. When he finally called back he said...."hey, I wondered if you wanted to come in for a free ultrasound next week. The GE rep for the ultrasound machine is going to show me some new functions on the machine". I nearly died right then and there. BREATH. Todd looked like he was gonna puke while I was on the phone. A few minutes later I started laughing hysterically and then bawling. It was pretty STRESSFUL!!! Todd was the most nervous I've seen so far.

Anyway...that's ALL for now!!

Some pictures (in truth, they were taken at 31 1/2 weeks but the OCD makes me wanna say this post was made at 30 weeks).

20 weeks

25 Weeks

30 Weeks