welcome to my internet home. this blog used to be cool, with insights about mental health, social policy, pop culture and the like. now, it's a chaotic collection of my mis-spelled, scribbled-down notes on motherhood (who has time to proof read?). it's over-ran with goldfish cracker crumbles, slobery wet kisses, and un-edited pictures. and i would have it no other way. feel free to laugh and cry along side me while I balance a practice (mental heath) and motherhood, and their interconectedness

Sunday, January 31, 2010

4 months

Dear Lyla,

I think when I look back over your first year, I just might say 4 months is my very favorite month (following that yummy newborn stage of course). I get the fun, interactive rewards of having a real baby, but also get the cuddly baby fun as well. (sorry if that makes no sense). In a matter of days, you went from a baby baby to a real person. I say we left for Christmas with a baby and came home with a kid. I think the theme of this month is fine-tuned. You're not doing a whole lot of things different than last month, but they are incredibly more fine-tuned. I feel like you're my very best friend in the world. My little partner in crime. We do everything together including, working (yes you insist on sitting in my lap while I work on the computer), sleeping (we have our little cuddle moments in bed each day) and eating (you get hungry the minute a meal is ready). I worried that I'd get bored with you after the newborn phase was over (terrible I know) but it just seems equally as lovely each new month. Just yesterday, it occurred to me that lots of things will be fun and anticipatory for the rest of your little life. It helped with being sad over your changes. Would you believe that I actually miss you when you nap for a long time (and by long I mean 2 or 3 hours...you've never lasted a minute over 3 hours)? You are just everything that is beautiful in this world. You give me peace. hope for the future. Here's some things about you

  • You can hold up your head completely now. It bobbles about at times but you're very strong

  • You are sooo close to being able to sit up without help. You can with a tiny bit of support

  • The sound of plastic crinkling freaks you right out.

  • What was once indifference towards Ty has turned into inquisitive interest. You watch him dart from place to place with big old eyes.

  • You go cross-eyed when things get too close to you or overwhelm you.

  • You recognize other babies

  • You pull on your socks when I'm changing your diaper. My little yogi in the making.

  • Sleep patterns are still erratic. You sleep up to 7 hours some nights and then others you wake every 1.5 hours. It makes no sense. Some days you don't even take a nap. I've done everything short of "crying it out" but nothing seems to help. I stick to a routine quite well, make it dark, rock you, sing to you ,etc. But the bottom line is, you sleep when you want-and you sleep like a bipolar.

  • You have REALLY found your voice. We call you chatty kathy. You talk constantly and I just love it.

  • You went from little laughs here and there to full on belly-giggles on a regular basis. Throwing you in the air always elicits a good giggle episode.

  • You love grabbing at things. Anything that passes by you piques your interest and must be touched. I think you have really good hand-eye coordination.

  • When we were in Idaho you got a killer butt rash (due to acidic poops..more on that later) but it hurt so bad when I changed you it took your breath away. You would gasp and then sob. And so would I. It was the very worst thing ever.

  • You enjoy the sound of your finger nails scratching things, including the side of your bed in the middle of the night. Not cool sister.

  • Sometimes you get so excited at things you literally scream! I had to take you out of relief society due to this the other Sunday.

  • You're vain girly. You love watching yourself in the mirror. We always have a good look after the bath and you laugh and smile at yourself.

  • You have very strong kicks. You've learned that these kicks send splashing water all over the place in the tubby. You get a kick out of it. I get soaked. Your zip-up sleep sacs are now too confining for you.

  • You very much enjoy pony rides

  • Still kinda bald. I put moose on your hair the other day and it cracked me up watching the curls spring into place. Just like moms.

  • When you've slept well, you STRUGGLE to wake up. You grunt and moan, and stretch. Trust me. You get this from dad.

  • You now look tired when you are. You rub your eyes (so adorable) and they get red and droopy.

  • You might be a big foot. I just bought you 6-18 month socks that are too small. Your feet are maybe a 1/2 inch smaller than Addys. Good luck with that lovey.

  • You are just now getting into 3-6 month clothing. Don't know why you're so small! You're mature face makes you look bigger I think but you're just tiny.

  • You're not the biggest fan of your car seat these days. It's kinda troubling as you bawl the minute we put you in it.

  • You love your jumpy jump. You spring from place to place in it. Cracks me up.

Obviously, you're perfect and beyond lovable. I love....the soft buttery touch of your skin. My heart melts when you wrap your little hand around my finger. Your palms are a soft I've never felt before...the way your whole body lights up when you smile....being greeted with coos and a smile in the early morning...and (secretly) love how you calm the minute I pick you up.

To steal a line from grey's,

I made you from scratch

Elsie's "fancy nancy" party

11 lbs 10 oz (8th percentile)
23 inches (8th percentile)
Head circumference: 15.5 M (8th percentile)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Well. Christmas came and went in a complete blur. The whole month of December was so fun for me with the anticipation of Lyla's first Christmas. She could hardly wait herself :) We also had our first Christmas in our home. Christmas Eve night, Lyla gave mom the best present a mom could receive; 7 whole hours of sleep! Ahh. We woke up and asked Lyla if Santa came. She smiled like "of course, I've got you suckers wrapped around my little finger". We walked her out to the tree to find all of her loot. I showed her every single thing. After she starred meaninglessly at her gifts, we headed to my moms to open presents with them. Lyla was slightly overwhelmed by all the hustle and bustle but I know she secretly enjoyed all her gifts. She even opened a few gifts herself. Todd and I also made out like bandits. I gave Todd a camp chef and he gave me an IPOD nano. My mom gave us tons of nice things including a TV stand.

Uncle Zach brought Lyla back a mu mu from Hawaii

Grill Box for his Camp Chef
First Christmas
After we opened gifts with my family, we made the looong trek to Idaho. Lyla slept til Ogden. It was lovely. We stopped once, then I hovered over the carseat once, and then we were there! Lyla loved her first trip to Idaho as did we. She met some family members (including several, much-adoring cousins), spent many-a lazy days in the rocking chair with Grandma, and was introduced to REAL winters. We had a great time introducing Lyla to the rest of the family, spending time with everyone, eating a lot, and enjoying some quality relaxing time. We gave Todd's mom a webcam for Christmas and she got to SKYPE his sister in Georgia. It was so fun. Lyla had her live Internet debut for them. We stayed for almost two weeks.

Todd found some of his old clothing. Yikes

We were also in Idaho for New Years. We went into Logan for dinner. Meet "The Kitchen Sink". A killer ice cream dessert. Lyla SCREAMED something fierce when everybody yelled happy New Year and blew their noise makers. Not so happy for her.

Her Christmas Collections. Would you believe I was worried if I had bought her enough?
Merry Christmas and Happy 2010 sweetness. Thanks for making
2009 the best year of my life.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Christmas Eve

We spent Christmas Eve at my mom's house with the traditional ham dinner, acting out of the nativity, matching pjs, and reading of a new Christmas story. I kept asking Lyla who was coming tonight but she didn't respond. She was however, pretty excited by all the hub bub. The best part of the evening was definitely watching the little munchkins act out the nativity. Lyla was baby Jesus, Addy an Angel, Elsie was Mary, Callie, Joseph and Melissa, a wise man. It was the most adorable nativity I've ever ever seen. The angel was quite unruly, Jesus had a case of the hiccups, and the wise man had a bit too much eye liner on, but it couldn't have been cuter. I love my baby Jesus. That night, Santa/Todd surprised Lyla with a pink microfiber chair. I've been eyeing this puppy since Thanksgiving. It was quite the surprised when Lyla and I came out of her bedroom to find it under the tree! I can't wait for her to sit in and read. Santa also brought all of her gifts that night and filled her stocking. We also read a book, I bawled, and then went to bed. Happy first Christmas Eve sweet girl.