welcome to my internet home. this blog used to be cool, with insights about mental health, social policy, pop culture and the like. now, it's a chaotic collection of my mis-spelled, scribbled-down notes on motherhood (who has time to proof read?). it's over-ran with goldfish cracker crumbles, slobery wet kisses, and un-edited pictures. and i would have it no other way. feel free to laugh and cry along side me while I balance a practice (mental heath) and motherhood, and their interconectedness

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

But not today. I'm not sure what compels me to post the not-so-pretty side of things...if it's a need for a virtual hug from my kind readers, if it's because I want to remember all this business for the next baby we have (pending retrograde amnesia), or if it's just me doing my duty to all my friends who don't have babies yet...keeping in real. Whatever it is, here's my latest woe. I've had some *slightly* concerning and uncomfortable symptoms show up the last two evenings when I returned from our evening walk (believe it or not, I will spare you the details for once). At first, I tried not to be too psycho about it and just wait it out. By the second time I was pretty nervous. Of course my Dr was out today when I called in. BUT, having an OB nurse for a sis definitely comes with some perks. She just happened to be in a meeting with him right when I called her to ask her what she thought about it. My dr, Dr. Heath (who really is the best and all Cedar residents should go to him) then got on the phone and said meet me in my office right now (but not in a "something is really wrong kind of way-just- "I'm your go-to guy" kind of way). Jenny got to be my nurse since all of his were out for the day (because women can't be alone with male drs). SO, the verdict is...well a number of things but the explanation for the most concerning symptom is that I have a "raging" UTI (if you don't know what that is, then you're probably a male so I won't bother writing it out). I've never had one before and I hope this is my last! The UTI also explains some other things like 1) why I keep peeing my pants every two seconds! and 2) why I have had the WORST leg cramps the last two nights. I wake up every 40 mins with that charlie horse-killa pain. When I told my mom she said "how can you have a UTI and not know it!?" I guess I'm not in tune enough? My dr said I've likely had it for many weeks.

So anyway, I guess urine can tell you a lot of things. In addition to the UTI, it showed that I was pretty wicked dehydrated and that I am not eating enough. I used to be so good at drinking the RDA of water, but it's tough making up for all that gets hurled up. I was really surprised about the not eating enough thing. I can't remember what the technical term he used that was in my pee but I will not forget my very professional dr. saying "basically, your body is eating itself because you're not eating enough". I felt really bad. Will I sound like a total wimp if I say I'm trying!? My dr wasn't mad that I wasn't eating enough though (he knows I'm a puker). He was mad that I didn't follow his recommendation to take Unisom and B6 to help with the puking-thus keeping food in my belly to feed the baby. I feel like an idiot but in my defense my mom told me not to take Unisom. She went off about an older drug that all OBGYNs recommended that caused kids to come out armless and what not! I hadn't really weighed the risk of depriving my little one over the risk of taking some stupid OTC drug that everyone takes and has healthy babies on. Also, when I first got pregnant all my concerns were about having an obese kid (studies show if you eat like crap your baby is more likely to be obese-it's like they come out on a sugar high), having gestational diabetes and all things related to my fatness. Now, I just kinda feel like I can't win! At first my dr very seriously went over not gaining too much and the risks of getting g. diabetes so it's just weird to be on the other end of things. I feel really guilty and have a greater resolve to try harder

Even though I'm a bit concerned about eating enough, the majority of my fears have been calmed. I don't care what goes wrong with me as long as the baby is okay (too bad they tend to be too closely correlated huh?). By the time I got into the dr. I was sure the baby was not okay. I was an emotional wreck. SO, it felt really good to hear that Baby G is doing fine. After a full exam, the dr said everything looks good. No sigh of threatened miscarriage or preterm labor. Jenny and I also got see our little one again in an ultrasound. The baby has grown a ton! It was so cute too..we got to see him/her open his/her mouth and the best...it's hands were up hiding it's face. You could see the little nose poking though the hands. It was so cute! I think we have a shy one on our hands. I also learned that my placenta is anterior (on top) which means it could be a while before I feel kicking (bummer huh) and that the baby is breech (normal at this time) but NOT good for trying to detect the sex! CRAP! I will die if we don't get to find out next week.

It doesn't matter though. I am just soooo glad everything is okay. We are being taken care of for sure. Now, I am gearing up for a week of antibiotics, lots of Gatorade, and more eating. Sorry if this was uninteresting/too whiny for you guys!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Poppy hates to travel

Poppy has made a very clear statement-either he/she is not cool with traveling or is just not cool with us having fun w/out him/her! Regardless, it really puts a wrench in my plans! The night before the conference, we were sleeping away in our hotel room when I got wicked sick. It was a pretty violent spell (the second of that day). When I sat up from my date w/ the toilet, I looked in the mirror because my face felt really funny. That's when I saw quazimoto starring back at me. The turbulence basically broke a bunch of blood vessels around my eye, in my eye, and caused the one eye to be really super swollen. Perfect right?! Today, your speaker will not be Chelsea Gambles the therapist, but rather Chelsea Gambles the bell ringing hunchback. Luckily, things had pretty much subsided by the time I spoke. Now, my eye just has that redness where it should be white. Like I said, Poppy is not down for travel (if you don't believe me, refer to the post returning from Easter). I'm not gonna lie, I felt/feel pretty bad for myself. What the crap?! I also felt bad for myself when every nice/free meal we enjoyed in Vegas ended up in the toilet. Oh well, I still love you Poppy and I'm trying not to get a complex that you already hate me.

Anyway, the conference went pretty good I think! Thanks to everyone for their kind wishes! Todd snuck in and heard my talk and he said "I had no idea what you were talking about but I wasn't bored at all which says a lot". I'll take it. The evals came back very positive and the host said she'd like to have us again soon. So I guess I'll call that a success! The biggest fear I had was that anytime anyone would ask something as it relates to therapy or treatment, all the other speakers would say, "I'll refer to Chelsea she's the professional". Yeah right! It was good though and we enjoyed some fun while in Vegas as well.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

17 Weeks

We had our 17th-week appointment on Thursday (technically at the end of the 16th week). Everything with Poppy seems to be going well ( I say "seem" because I never feel completely reassured unless I get an ultrasound because I am borderline insane). It was the cutest thing though...the nurse was trying to detect the heartbeat on the Doppler thingy (I call it doppler radar because it's essentially the same idea right?) and she was really taking FOREVER. Longer than the first time. She also had a puzzled look on her face. After an eternity I finally said "you can't find it can you?". She said "oh no, I've found it a few times, your baby just won't hold still long enough for me to get a decent reading!". I had to laugh. Of course our baby is already teasing us. After that I paid attention and our baby was seriously playing keep away from her. As soon as you could hear a good strong beat it would disappear. The little stinker would wiggle away! She finally backed him/her into a corner and got a good strong reading of 168 BPM. I guess he/she is preparing us for the teenage years.

Other news...our due date got changed to September 28th. I was sad! It was fun to say I was due on Todd's birthday but oh well. Todd wants the baby to come before his bday so he can say he had his first kid at 30 not 31. Who cares right? Not me (ok no true...I secretly wish I'd be 24 not 25 when the baby comes...hypocrisy at its finest). Also, I learned that I haven't gained any weight just yet and have actually lost a bit. My doc says this is common in hard core pukers and people with more to love (my words not his). I was SHOCKED because my belly is GIANT (pics to come), but doc says I'm losing fat and gaining a baby belly. Sounds good to me!
Other than that we are just anxiously awaiting our big ultrasound!!!! Less than 2 weeks!!! We can't wait!!!! If you haven't voted yet you better!!! Ok, enough pregoness for tonight...love to all.
-14 weeks-
-17 Weeks-

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Luck in Sin City

We're headed to Las Vegas this Thursday and I'm looking for some good luck wishes....but not for gambling (although winning the jackpot right about now would really be pretty cool). I have the honor of being asked to speak at the Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence annual spring conference about my work with Plural Families (aka polygamists). I'm very excited for the opportunity but also quite nervous! What could a 24-year old possibly have to teach to all these professionals?! We'll see I guess. I have to fill a whole hour! It will be good practice though because I am also speaking at a conference we're hosting at the University of Utah the 18th of August (shameless plug for all my SW readers to come...7 CEUs!). If all else fails, it's an all-expenses-paid trip to Sin City baby! But, really, wish me luck!

p.s. You can read about the conference here

My New Fave...

I know everyone loves Adam and I like him too, but Kris is my new fave. Mostly because he sings the kinda of music I would buy. I've always been a big fan of Matt Giraurd but right now I'm all about Kris. Phew, filled my idol quota for the week:)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I've always thought it was random that we celebrate Christ's Resurrection with furry bunnies delivering decorated eggs. It apparently has something to do with the symbology for fertility. Rabbits and eggs symbolize fertility, thus symbolizing the rising fertility of the earth. Hmm. weird. Nonetheless, we were happy the Easter Bunny found us hiding out in Idaho. We went to see the fam, celebrate Easter, and have a little getaway. It was a great little trip. Todd's mom absolutely spoiled us by making us yummy meals and just being that loving mom presence everyone needs from time to time. We had a Easter egg hunt, visited with the family, went into Logan for night out on the town (where we saw Monsters and Aliens...super funny), shopped for Rhinos in Preston (don't ask), and made Poppy his/her first baby blanket! Bet had some gender-neutral fabric and suggested that we tie one up. It was so fun. I'm kind of challenged in that department but I think I did pretty good and we had the whole thing finished in just a few hours. It was very cool to think of our little one laying on this in five short (or extremely long) months. A very handsome Easter Bunny also visited me ...When I got out of the shower Sunday morning, I found an Easter basket waiting in our room. Todd had gotten a basket, filled it with candy and gave me a gift card to the Motherhood Store. Todd had sneakily had his niece stop at the mall in Logan and buy me one since the closest store to us is in STG (Thanks JACKIE!). He said he doesn't like that I try to be cheap and buy maternity clothes at Walmart or on Craigslist. He knows I don't think I look too hot (true) so he wants me to go buy some cute prego clothes. He also put little dollars in eggs for me buy smoothies at my favorite smoothie place in STG, The Orange Peel (again, because I love them but I'm too cheap to get one more than once a month). I thought it was quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. I of course, cried (a regular event these days). Ty also got a squeaky/stuffed dog dressed up as an Easter Bunny. I planned to take a picture of it but he literally had the neck ripped open, all the stuffing ripped out, and the squeaky thing removed before i could. He loved it though so that's all that matters.

Mad Quilters
I think Ty enjoyed this trip more than anybody. When we go to Idaho, we always tell him we're "takin him to the Country". He loves it at grandmas. This time he was quite a bit braver than times past. When we first let him out, he literally frolicked in the field behind the house and went nuts chasing the birds in tree out front. He also went and visited his doggie/horsie friends down the lane, and had a LOT of fun playing with his favorite cousin Nathan. Plum tuckered out after some serious playin We also put our artistic abilities to work decorating some eggs. Ty helped us...

The finished products...BYU and "U Sucks" (Todd did it..not me!)
Todd heart Chelsea (the funny thing about this is we both made the same egg without knowing it!)

And since I already posted about the lovely drive home that about wraps it up! Thanks Grandma Bet. Poppy loved his/her first visit to Idaho too.

Here's a fun picture tag. The rules:

1.Go to your documents/pictures
2. Go to your 6th file
3. Go to your 6th picture
4. Post it, and blog about it
5. Tag 6 people to do the same
6. Name your picture



Yep, ours was the pee stick. Disturbing to many. Lovely to me. I did this tag in an attempt to talk about something non-pregnancy related but I guess the cosmos has somethin else in mind:) I think this was about the 5th test we took. I made Todd go buy the digital ones even though by then I knew I was pregnant. I did it to stick it to all the digital ones in the past that so coldy told me "NOT PREGNANT" with a mocking tone (don't ask me how a peice of plastic has tone but it does). It felt good. Take that you clear blue biotch.
I never tag people but I am going to now. I tag my cousins Amber and Jessica, Aubree C., Jenny, Chelsea J, and Ted G. Do it!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

{Warning: not for those with weak stomachs or who don't appreciate a little TMI here and there.}

Now that it's been a few days I thought I would post about this lovely experience we had driving home from Idaho on Sunday (p.s., we had a GREAT time in Idaho for Easter and I will post about that later). So first of all, I take back everything I said about feeling better...GRRR!!!! I had about 1.5 weeks where I really felt quite good. That all-day I'm gonna hurl feeling had really subsided and I really was puking less. Well, the bad days are back with a vengeance! I've been almost as sick as I was during the 1st trimester. I'm not going to lie, I'm becoming a wimp about it. Some days I just sit by the toilet and cry...I want it (the sickness) to be over. But, I'm still very happy so no fear.

Anyway, here's the story. We attended church in Swan Lake with the family. They have early church but I intentionally woke up early enough to eat breakfast and get the morning hurl out of the way. Well, my idiot self sits the closet in on the bench and of course I end up having to get up in the middle of Sacrament to puke. So...this was when I knew my Karma was waxing thin...there were two stalls and which one do I choose? The one that doesn't FLUSH! A 50/50 chance! Of course I figure that out after expelling everything in my member.

And then it just got better. Well, it did for a while, we had a FANTASTIC dinner and egg hunt and then headed for home. I made it to about Provo before I realized I needed to eat...and NOW! Of course we had passed all the main exits but low and behold, I saw the golden arches from the freeway. I am NOT a big Mickeydees fan but it would do. SO we stopped and I got two hockey puck hamburgers and we went on our way. I got the first one down and knew instantly it was coming back up. So, I grabbed the bag (still full of good food) and, well, you know the drill. Todd got over on the closet exit and raced to the closest gas station. I went to get out and Ty jumped onto my lap. So, I gently set the bag down, pushed him off, and eased the bag off the floor. AND...well, the bottom of the bag busted. All over the car. So then, I went to get stuff to clean the car and OF COURSE the gas station was closed! It was only 8pm! And no, I'm not done. With the force of the puking (it was a bad one) and the gas station being closed, I pee'd my pants. No lie. Full on pee'd.

Obviously, it was a rough drive. Ty also got sick from all the human food his relatives gave him and proceeded to FART the entire drive home...in my face. Like I said, now that it's been a few days I can laugh about it but at the time it was not so funny. That bit was worth it though because we had such a wonderful time with the Gambles Family. Todd's mom is so good to us and it was a much needed rest. I just had to tell about that story...comical at the least right?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

So I promise not all of my posts from here on out will be about pregnancy, etc (esp. cuz Todd so gently reminds me that "some people don't give a crap") but I had to post about our first photo together! Cheesy I know. This is at 14 weeks. Now, I offer two disclaimers on interpreting the bulge...1)It wasn't the flattest canvas to start with and 2) I am wearing this leotard-like shirt that I got from the Motherhood store that emphasizes the belly big time. That being said, I am definitely getting the chub. My "fat pants" are startin to get uncomfortable.
On another note, people keep asking me if I have any cravings. I say no, I haven't had a real must-have urge for anything but when reflecting, I realized, I've been drawn to some RANDOM foods lately. Like this. And this.
And this. Weird for me. I def don't eat this stuff normally. Why can't I be drawn to carrots or something? Everything else seems to be going well. My next apt is in two weeks. I'm five weeks away from the big ultrasound. I can't wait! Except I might try to talk my dr into looking when I go in for the 17 week apt (I am good at crying at the drop of a hat these days...evil huh?)

I've also been feeling A LOT better. It was like I turned into a whole new woman at 14 weeks. I still have a morning puke fest but then I feel a million times better. The all day nausea is subsiding and I have tons more energy. Hallelujah! Switching prenatals has also helped (Thanks for the tip Aubree!).

That's all. p.s don't forget to cast your vote on what you think we're having! People keep telling me they didn't notice it...it's on the right side at the very top! Looks like a close one.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Me oh my

Yesterday I was innocently perusing the craigslist adds for baby stuff (my new favorite past time) and came across an add that instantly confirmed that I am completely and undeniably in over my head. Have a look....

"Deluxe Bath Tub Spa"

"Motorized jet creates soothing spa effect, motorized shower rinses the baby with clean water, 2 temp strips situated on both tub and shower ensures water is the right temperature."

No, this is not a joke. Me oh my. What was more concerning than the fact that such a thing actually exists was/is the fact that I want it! BAD! Our baby needs motorized jets when he/she showers right? How could I deny him/her such a thing now that I know it exists? That would be negligent wouldn't it?! When I showed Todd his only statement was "we're gonna be broke aren't we?". Pretty much. Like I said, in over my head...already.