welcome to my internet home. this blog used to be cool, with insights about mental health, social policy, pop culture and the like. now, it's a chaotic collection of my mis-spelled, scribbled-down notes on motherhood (who has time to proof read?). it's over-ran with goldfish cracker crumbles, slobery wet kisses, and un-edited pictures. and i would have it no other way. feel free to laugh and cry along side me while I balance a practice (mental heath) and motherhood, and their interconectedness

Monday, October 5, 2009

The first three + weeks & making "picture overload" an understatement

Posted by Todd & Chelsea at 10:14 PM

This post started as "the first week" and has evolved into the first three weeks. Blogging has become overwhelming because a) I have no time what with all the admiring and b) because I no longer have the ability to identify what is and is not blog worthy as every moment is of the utmost importance to me, thus making the thought of blogging quite laborious! Literally, I wake Todd from sleeping to look at her sucking her thumb. I took a picture of her first blow out (i.e. pooped through clothing). I spend any spare time i have scribbling little journalistic notes like, "you wore a purple bow today". What? I have a problem. How do I capture all of this beautifulness? Time has evolved into the meanest of crooks and makes my heart ache each day. The other day I cried because I watched her take her little mitted hand and shove her binky in her mouth. That isn't a newborn thing to do! My stomach turned the other day when my sister told me about a sale on baby food. Emotionally, i spitted back "I'm not ready to buy baby food"! I wish I could capture each minute. each second. and bottle it away.
Hmmm. I guess the next best thing is to try and capture the essence. I'll start where I left off? After two lovely days in the hospital (I truly don't know why people say they hate staying in the hospital after birth...I loved it. Just focus on you and baby. That's it) we headed home....to our new house!!! That's right. My amazing family broke into our new house and basically painted the entire house (we had HORRIBLE paint...the only change needed), moved in our essentials (like our bed), and most importantly, completed the nursery. They did it all..from putting the crib together to painting the walls pink and installing the bead board. I can't tell you how amazing it was to come home to her room all completed just how I had imagined it. Of course I cried. It touched me so. We have been so amazed by the kindness of our families. The weekend after Lyla was born, Todd's mom and niece and her friend came down and helped us move the remainder of our stuff. That was so kind of them and meant so much to us. Lyla, of course, loved meeting her grammy and cousin. My mom stayed with me the first night to help me during the night and then stayed the entire first week Todd went back to work (still working out of town :() So many of my friends have left supportive phone calls, dinners and gifts. I don't know what we would've done without all the help. I guess it takes a village...thank you everyone.
Since coming home from the hospital, I have basically been living a dream...
There has been the challenges....
____
the sleeplessness (Lyla is confused about night and day. She is the easiest baby and never cries inconsolably...she just wants to eat and poop all night long), the recovery (nobody tells you about some of this yuckiness you endure), breastfeeding ineptness (deserves a post of its own), and the hormones (I haven't felt this crazy since my birth control days). But oh how these dwindle when I look into her perfect little face. Can I say how blessed I feel without sounding lame? I feel like the most special person in the world. I keep waiting for God to realize he made a mistake because there's no possible way I deserve this. Ahh the moments... watching her sleep in the utmost peace. Meeting her gaze as she looks up at me while eating like a little piggy. Laughing as she poops while her dad tries to change her for the first time. Beaming with love as Todd grows into the most perfect dad. Watching her kick out of her blankets in an almost defiant way. Catching glimpses of me and her dad in her beautiful features. Reveling in each tiny, perfect feature...ears, lips, nose fingers, toes. Feeling apologetic as I watch her afro grow each day (I asked the Lord not to give her my curly hair!). Feeling physical pain when she is away from me (okay, i've only left her once for like 15 minutes but showers count don't they?). Feeling pride as she progresses developmentally (silly things like finally kicking the jaundice [without lights] sent me into tears of complete joy). And simply waking up to a perfectly evolving creature each day. ....

(these pictures are in reverse chronological order...too lazy)


































 

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