Sunday, November 8, 2009
In the initial days after having Lyla I kept wondering when I would actually feel like a mom. It's like I wanted some grand expression or sign from the universe to come down and certify me as a mom. It was weird. I would sometimes wake up and look at her and think holy crap...that's my kid. I have a daughter. Sometimes the disassociation would be so strong I would have a panic moment thinking I hadn't felt her kick in a while...then remember that's because she's in my damn arms not my stomach anymore! I've thought a lot about what makes you a mom.
SO I ask you, are you officially a new mom if.....
- You wake soaking wet and can't decided if it's from sweat (because the thermostat now rests at a reasonable 80 degrees), drool, or if it's just an untimely little expression from those lovely little humps that used to be sexual... not share a purpose with a freaking milk cow.
- Your greatest achievement of the day is honing in on the perfect oxyclean to spray N wash ratio for removing the stubbornest of blow outs
- Your night stand that used to hold expensive lotions, books of intellect, and dare I say, *nightime items* have been replaced with diapering essentials, an extra pj in the unfortunate case of a nightime blowout, butt paste, books with titles like, "the baby whisperer" and the remains of an umbilical cord (shameful, but true).
- You've grown accustomed to things leaking from every single oraphus (sp?) in your body. If you're wondering what comes out the rear you've obviously never experienced something that starts with a hem and ends in a ROID.
- You don't make it through the shower without poking your head out at least once to listen for crying'
- Time lacks no meaning except to mark the space between feedings and the number of weeks since birth.
- You are shocked when you hear about the weather because you haven't been outside in days.
- the color and/or texture of the latest dump makes scintillating dinnertime conversations
- The only math you do is to measure out MLs of medicine, note the most recent weigh in, and of course, to count the number of poopy and wet diapers made in a day.
- The term sex now only has one definition: male or female.
....you get the point.
It's a wild, beautiful, amazing ride
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4 comments:
Ah hahahaha! I heart you! I think you sound more and more like a Mom all the time. Even if you're not going out if you ever are in need of company I'd love to come by :)
Really, you need to be a writer. I could read your blog ALL day long.
And YES to all of thee above, your are in the mommy club.
And she is a DOLL, really a DOLL!
ha ha ha ha are you going to write a book sometime soon? You should at least publish your blog so you cand keep all of this forever!
I can completely relate to pretty much all of these. Isn't it the craziest thing ever?
I am hoping baby #2 won't be such a shock since I am going through it all now. You will have to tell me how it goes so I can somewhat prepare myself.
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