Letters to Lyla and Lottie

Landed me in the hospital two weeks ago. But it was only for about 8 hours and me and girlfriend are just fine. I decided I hate the hospital though and began contemplating a home birth (haha totally kidding). The story... I went to my regular dr apt and there they had some concerns about her heart rate. It was a bit slow. So they decided I better do a stress test (where they monitor your baby's heart rate for about 20 mins). During this test they saw a little decline in her rate which concerned them (and scared the hell out of me to be frank). So the dr came in and began measuring my pulse because he thought perhaps the observed decline was just the monitor picking up my heart rate (which should be much slower than hers). He was disturbed to find that my pulse was only at 60 BPM (and lets face it...my fat ace will never have a pace that is really that slow). So he decided I better go get monitored over at L&D. He kept asking me if I felt okay and was concerned about me driving the 2 feet to the hospital. Honestly. SO yea, we both had our hearts monitored for about 2 hours (mine on the EKG). The nurses kept looking all nervous and asking me if I had shortness of breath, etc. I felt FINE. I had been abnormally tired the last two days but isn't that normal? Well, I guess my heart was having another episode. Doing what it did LAST time I found myself in the ER. So my dr ordered a consult with a general physician who consulted with my cardiologist who decided I was okay. The verdict was the I have an "irritable heart". The hypothesis that it acts up with an influx of hormones. Last time it was the influx seen right at the onset of pregnancy and this time it was the influx seen during the last trimester. Guess I'm lucky I haven't had more (which isn't exactly true since they think I have episodes all the time and just don't know it. The dr kept saying they never trust patients.haha). I was assured that my heart was doing plenty for miss thang and that I can endure labor just fine. I was also assured that this episode never in fact affected her. The decline WAS my heart rate-my dr just ruled that possibility out because when he was taking my pulse it was 60 (way too low to be the drop seen on the monitor) when really my heartrate was 120!! Due to the arrhythmia, some of my beats are really shallow (because they beat too early-not allowing enough blood to pool) which makes them every hard to hear. So when people take my pulse during these episodes, they miss about half my beats. Obviously, my heart beats out of control fast in these episodes. Sorry if I've sufficiently confused you. The point is she was never effected by crazy heart and it was just happenstance that they caught one of these lame episodes. I'm told they no doubt account for the fatigue and weakness I feel every now and then. Oh well. It was also detected while I was there that my thyroid has gone crazy since being pregnant (it was fine before) so I get to take meds for that now. I'm just hoping it's not a life-long thing now. Really, I'm just not a good pregnant person which makes me sad. I'm good with dealing with it all I think and it hardly effects me emotionally but my body just seems to go completely nutso. I hate that I'm a crappy patient. I wanted to be one of those buff chicks that hardly misses a beat being pregnant. Chicks that say they never felt better than when they were pregnant. Chicks that never have a single thing out of the ordinary all nine months. Oh well I guess. As long as I get her what do I really care? AND my sweet dr reminds me all the time that even though these really crazy random things keep happening to me, I have had a VERY healthy pregnancy. Meaning, everything baby related is just great. It's all the other stuff that gets in the way. In my own crazy mind I just wonder if I just get REALLY pregnant. Like have abnormally high amounts of hormones that seems to reek havoc on everything. That's just pregnancy according to me though. I'm done rambling. Thanks for reading if you made it :)