Letters to Lyla and Lottie

• Mad crazy anxiety...like truly, why did I think I could care for another human life? What made me think I wanted to me a part time worker and full time mom? What if I miss her blink or something? What if she hates me? What if I don't like being a mom? What if she likes Todd more? Why haven't I played her Mozart on my belly yet? Where did all the time go? Oh my gosh the list goes on and on.
• Serious butt pain. I feel like everything is going to come out the rear when I stand up. My butt hurts ALL the time.
• Bathroom trips. Less than four in one night is considered a feat.
• Pukes...yep. I've been feeling more sick lately and the chunks still make their appearance about once a week. It's cool though.
• My belly being under seige. Sometimes in the night or when I'm really concentrating I have to remind myself that someone isn't letting off small bombs in my belly. It's just her. Like really. No cute little kicks. It's like putting a trash bag over a fat kid and watching him try to fight his way out. I still really like it though.
• Tears. Man I cry alot. The other day I cried because Elsie's frog I've been taking care of died. I cried because the other one looked sad. Really it did though. They were a couple. When I told Jenny she said, "good, Elsie wanted them to die". OMG.
• The girls. Out of control. READY for action. If that doesn't paint the picture-imagine my garment top STUCK to me in the morning when I take it off. Yea, they're ready for action. (k I must be too tired to be writing this post bc the TMI is out of control...sorry guys).
• Thankles. That's when there is no differentiation between your thighs and your ankles. Thankles.

Last week we had our 30 week ultrasound and everything looked good! She STILL had her face shoved clear down into my uterus which really ticked me off because it makes it impossible to get a good face shot. I guess because all of the amniotic fluid is by her feet-and fluid is necessary to take the pic. I KNOW she flips and lays sideways sometimes so I really don't appreciate the hiding at the ultrasound...so now I call her my little gremy. For little gremlin. She was sitting indian style holding on to her big toe which I thought was pretty stinkin cute. It was estimated that she weighed 2 lbs 11 oz. Awe. in the 45 percentile (I'm assured this is good enough). I've gained 12 lbs and I passed by gestational diabetes test so I'm doing pretty good!

One last update...the night after our ultrasound I was getting my hair cut when my dr. called the house to talk to me. Todd said I wasn't home so he told Todd to have me call him on his cell phone when I got home. I guess Todd tried to call but I missed it. So when I got home he was practically crawling out of his skin with nerves. What the CRAP?! I was dying. Drs never call you at home to tell you good news. never. Even Jenny was like-it's probably not good. So when I called him back he didn't answer. Todd and I sat and starred at the wall for 30 mins. Todd must have asked me 20 times if the phone was working. When he finally called back he said...."hey, I wondered if you wanted to come in for a free ultrasound next week. The GE rep for the ultrasound machine is going to show me some new functions on the machine". I nearly died right then and there. BREATH. Todd looked like he was gonna puke while I was on the phone. A few minutes later I started laughing hysterically and then bawling. It was pretty STRESSFUL!!! Todd was the most nervous I've seen so far.

Anyway...that's ALL for now!!

Some pictures (in truth, they were taken at 31 1/2 weeks but the OCD makes me wanna say this post was made at 30 weeks).

20 weeks

25 Weeks

30 Weeks

So we celebrated the big three-year anniversary on the 8th. Maybe it's because we dated for two years prior to that, but I hardly remember life before Todd. I have to brag slightly about the gift he gave me...a glider. But not just any glider. The man remember not only the color of our crib, but the make and model-and found a glider from the same manufacturer to match. So sweet. I was just reflecting on all that we have experienced in our short time together like....

• Love. like I've never know it.
• moving. two states and three city's
• graduate school. started just one month after the wedding
• heartbreak. enduring two years of infertility.
• big purchases. like a car. and a baby (yes, we bought our baby)
• new additions. two puppys. Poppy
• culture. concerts. movies. plays. museums.
• disagreements. politics. dog parenting. toilet duty.
• starting over. new jobs. new home. new challenges.
• nature. national parks. hikes. Sugarhouse park. Tanner Park.
• travel. Denver Colorado. Moab. Mexico. Yellowstone. Northern to Southern Utah
• Food. chinese in West Valley. cheesecake in Logan. coke and crushed ice in Cedar.
• Compromise. football season tickets. art museums. remote time.
• Unabashed joy. double pink line. heartbeats. kicks. sweet baby girl

me. loving this journey with you babe.

My friend Brooke introduced me to the term "babymoon". Like a honeymoon you have before your baby comes. I thought it was quite creative. Guilt causes me to explain however, that this vacation was about resting and spending some quality time together before our lives get turned upside down NOT about having one last hurrah. It always makes me sad when people say that-like your life is ending once you have a baby. I think it's just getting started. Anywho, Todd and i went back and forth for weeks about where to vacation. If air fair had cooperated, we would have gone to Maui (had an awesome opportunity with a timeshare). We also toyed with the idea of the Oregon Coast or somewhere in CA. Finally, it sort of occurred to us that all we really wanted was a week to relax somewhere. We did want to travel too far. We didn't want it to be too hot. We wanted to stay in one place for a week. And we wanted a condo or something where we could cook meals together and what not. So we started looking and found a really cool honeymoon condo in Eden Utah. It's up Ogden Canyon near Snow Basin/Powder Mountain. So that's where we ended up. It was the perfect vacation for me. It was so green and lush and beautiful. The temps were quite perfect as well. We had so much fun relaxing, watching old movies on HBO, going for walks around the lake, eating at nice restaurants, swimming, reading our books on the porch at night, and just hangin out. Todd also enjoyed our private jacuzzi tub. I read an entire book, slept alot and ate alot. It was awesome. We also went into SLC one day and got to hang with Todd's brother and his fam. It was really fun to see them since we don't very often. That night there was a little incident involving Todd pulling over on the freeway (in an oddly large amount of traffic) so I could hurl my guts out. We survived though and only had one more of those incidences the whole vacation. Here's some pictures.....yay for babymoons.

-MooseHollow, the Condo-

-Rainbow Falls-

One night we ate at this really cool restaurant that had private decks that literally extend over the river. It was so pretty.

Pine View Lake

"water skeeting"? some weird machine thing you skeet across the water on. We wondered if this guy invented this because it didn't work that well. Fun to watch though.

Another night we ate at a restaurant that overlooked the lake. When we walked back to our car there were deer like 5 feet away from us.

We also have fun explore the old town of Eden Utah and Huntsville Utah.

The view from our balcony was awesome. There were horses grazing in the next field over and you could also see the lake.

I made Todd take school portraits. sorry honey